I grew up with only the finest meals prepared on a daily basis by my mom. And oh how I looked forward to the all-time weekly favorite “cream tuna on toast.” (Please read the sarcasm in this last statement). This meal was made was carefully created in an iron skillet on a gas stove in a galley-style kitchen just over 30 square feet. As I was running away from my sister through the kitchen one day as young brothers often do, my mom chose this moment in time to grab me and tell me to NOT touch the iron skillet. She explained in no uncertain terms that the skillet was very hot. I looked her in the eyes, listened to her, and then continued on my journey of escape from my sister. Upon one of my return laps through the kitchen, I paused and stared at that skillet. “What does hot really feel like?” So I began a pattern in my life of acting upon my curiosity. I reached out to that heavily used black handle of that skillet and grabbed it. For just a few moments, all I could feel was the immovability of the heavy object. Then, as with no warning, this sensation rapidly proceeded up my arm to my brain that triggered the rest of my body to scream in pain as I felt and smelled the flesh of my little hand burn with the imprint of the skillet handle.
My mom came running. And as with any other burn of that day, she handed me a stick of butter and told me to hold onto it and keep rubbing it into my hand. In combination with some cooler water, this combination remedy seemed to have done the trick. Amazingly, I have no scars to this day. Yet, this lifetime movie event began a pattern of curiosity within me that demanded that I never cease to satisfy my curiosity without asking questions or discovering for myself. Here the 80/20 rule applied to my life. This means that only 20% of the time my decisions of curiosity brought about negative consequences for my life. Not bad. I’m still here. And yes, luck did play a huge part in protecting my stupid decisions.
Fast forward to college. I was “that guy.” I was that student who would ask professors questions whenever I was unclear or disagreed with a statement. I truly just wanted to know “why” or “how” or the “reasoning behind” the material/statements presented in class. Hey, this is just how I am wired. I hate not knowing what’s under the Christmas tree and waiting to find out. One Christmas I unwrapped several of my gifts under the tree a few days before Christmas and then wrapped them back up very carefully, not to allow others to discover my inquisitive mind incarnate. Or so I thought. My parents did discover this and then never put most of the wrapped gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve, after I had gone to sleep.
Fast forward to today, I still can’t stand not knowing things. While my mind might work as quickly as in the past, my years of clever inquiry have allowed me to redirect my insatiable appetite for knowing the truth. In other words, I still find a way to discover what I need to know to remain satisfied. Now, many of you might think that I am controversial in nature. On the contrary, I don’t seek controversy. I seek clarity. When things to me don’t make sense (being unable to be seen clearly), it drives me nuts. And I have been known to do whatever it takes to be clear in discovery, conversation, and communication. From what I have witnessed, much of the negative in this world has come from a lack of clarity. This can manifest itself in the form of an unwillingness to want to know the truth. This can also reveal itself by others not even knowing that the lens through which they see life is a bit off, not allowing them to see clearly enough to make the best decisions in their life. When people tend to move forward with a “blurry lens,” weak/poor decisions are made and the fallout can negatively impact the lives of others. What’s worse is when that same person with the “blurry” lens continues down a path of decision-making that actually begins to impact others around them in negative ways. If this person does not adjust their “life lenses,” they can in turn only begin to agree with and support others that have the same mal-adjusted life lens perspective, and the life-blur magnifies. In fact, this distortion of life focus can and often does turn life perspective upside down.
And who in their right mind would not agree that we are living in times where much of life appears to be upside-down. Oh, that’s right. Many truly do not see we are living in the upside-down. That’s because there are so many life lenses that are a bit off/blurry. This blurred approach to life has and always will bring more controversy than clarity. Asking questions is key to bringing about clarity. This must also be followed by listening to the answers. Then and only then can open dialogue be used to bring about true clarity and begin to eliminate the controversy that governs so much of the world today. Let me know if you could use a listener. Let me know how I can come alongside you. And just maybe we can swap some old stories of controversy or clarity.
Have a safe and Merry Christmas Holiday time.